What causes quarrels andwhat causes fights among you?
Is it not this,
that your passions are at
war within you?
James 4:1 (ESV)
The nineteenth-century poet Robert Southey once blurted out, “I could believe in Christ if he did not drag behind him his leprous bride, the church.” Ouch! Southey had observed the hate, the quarreling, the mean-spiritedness, the lack of compassion, and the arrogance within the church and wanted nothing to do with it.
Many pastors, including myself, regularly preach about the need for congregations to be warm and gracious. Most are...at least until you do something that they disagree with, and they you see their hidden--but all together true--nature come out. What is the source of this ugliness?
One word: autonomy. Everyone wants it their way.
I had a conversation one time with a congregant (sadly, this situation has happened many times since then with many other people). He disagreed with a decision the leadership had made, and I was assigned to "deal with" him. He sat in my office kicking and screaming, and I patiently and calming thanked him for his opinion but reminded him the leadership had already reached their decision. This elderly man in his 70's then said something that revealed his sinful heart: "Oh, so I can't have my way but you get YOUR way."
He had made this a battle between persons. To him, it was my autonomy verses his autonomy. While he was angry when he couldn't get his way, he was furious when he thought I was getting mine. Although a Christian for many years, he had never learned to escape from the bondage of selfish thinking.
When we put ourself first it is no wonder that arguments occur. In our Sunday school program we often have the children sing a little jingle:
Many pastors, including myself, regularly preach about the need for congregations to be warm and gracious. Most are...at least until you do something that they disagree with, and they you see their hidden--but all together true--nature come out. What is the source of this ugliness?
One word: autonomy. Everyone wants it their way.
I had a conversation one time with a congregant (sadly, this situation has happened many times since then with many other people). He disagreed with a decision the leadership had made, and I was assigned to "deal with" him. He sat in my office kicking and screaming, and I patiently and calming thanked him for his opinion but reminded him the leadership had already reached their decision. This elderly man in his 70's then said something that revealed his sinful heart: "Oh, so I can't have my way but you get YOUR way."
He had made this a battle between persons. To him, it was my autonomy verses his autonomy. While he was angry when he couldn't get his way, he was furious when he thought I was getting mine. Although a Christian for many years, he had never learned to escape from the bondage of selfish thinking.
When we put ourself first it is no wonder that arguments occur. In our Sunday school program we often have the children sing a little jingle:
Jesus and others and you
what a wonderful way to spell joy.
J is for Jesus for he has first place,
O is for others we meet face to face
Y is for you in whatever you do,
put yourself third and spell J.O.Y.
Today, make that your prayer.
what a wonderful way to spell joy.
J is for Jesus for he has first place,
O is for others we meet face to face
Y is for you in whatever you do,
put yourself third and spell J.O.Y.
Today, make that your prayer.
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