Daily Devo - Wednesday, February 20, 2008

I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.” - Matthew 19:9 (NIV)

The questions surrounding the issues of divorce and remarriage are confusing and troublesome. As in Jesus’ day, in today’s culture divorce is rampant [a], and statistics tell us that divorce rates among professing Evangelicals are comparable to those of the secular culture. Churches today offer a wide variety of opinions regarding the biblical teaching on divorce, though perhaps more commonly the issue is simply ignored (giving rise to widespread practice of divorce among believers).

Since this is such an important issue, it is helpful to take a brief break from the daily meditations on Matthew to explore it. As a pastor, I want to talk about the Bible’s teaching regarding divorce about as much as I want my arms ripped off by a pair of hungry lions. Still, if we profess to follow Jesus as our Lord it simply will not do to ignore his commands on these issues.

While it is hotly debated, I believe the above passage demonstrates the following:

(1) Those who have been divorced on “non-biblical” grounds may not remarry [b].
(2) Those that have been divorced on ‘biblical’ grounds are free to remarry.

Thus, those who get married after an unbiblical divorce are really involved in an adulterous, sinful relationship (which doesn’t “go away” with time). There are other passages of scripture that also support this conclusion [c], though not every pastor would agree with this assessment. Historically, the early church period took a much-stricter view and understood this passage to forbid all remarriage. John Calvin, however, taught that this prohibition of remarriage applied only to the person who had had an “unlawful and frivolous divorce”, and most Protestants have followed his assessment [d]. Based on other passages (such as 1 Cor 7:10-11 and Luke 16:18b), we are taught that it is also unlawful for a third party to marry an (unlawfully) divorced person. Today, however, most Protestant pastors hold a very open position on the issue of remarriage even if the past divorce was unbiblical.

But does this really sound like Jesus? Is he advocating that an improper divorce be a permanent ‘Scarlett Letter”? Would Jesus really “condemn” divorcees to life-long singleness because of one (albeit big) mistake in their past? Perhaps Fredrick Dale Bruner’s assessment is best. He states that “Jesus wants to make remarriage so difficult that disciples will think long and hard to save their marriages before they take this step” [a]. Jesus speaks in no uncertain terms: “don’t get divorced, but if you do so unbiblically, certainly do not get remarried”. Jesus has thrown down the gantlet, and is forcing us to deal with his teaching. Either we ignore it, and prove ourselves to be either of ‘little faith’ or ‘no faith’, or we obey and prove ourselves to be fully committed followers [f]. In the end, as couples we are called to treasure our marriages as much as Jesus does. As the church of Jesus Christ, we are called to remain faithful to his teachings on divorce and remarriage--regardless of the cost.

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[a] Though in Jesus day it was probably much more common for the male to divorce the female. It was much more difficult, if not impossible in some circumstances, for Jewish and Roman wives to terminate a marriage.
[b] The issue of what constitutes a “biblical” or “non-biblical” divorce is also a matter of much debate. Jesus indicates only “marital unfaithfulness” (porneia), which is generally taken as adultery (though the Greek term seems to refer to all sexual sin). However, should we consider the use of internet pornography to constitute “marital unfaithfulness”? How about non-sexual issues such as spousal abuse (and if so, which type of spousal abuse? Only physical? Verbal? Emotional?). Paul seems to allow for divorce in the cases of abandonment, but should this include ‘emotional abandonment’? There are no easy answers to these questions.
[c] 1 Cor 7:10-11 “A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband.” Luke 16:18b “…the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. (cf Matthew 5:32). Neither of these verses contain Matthew’s exception, though they probably assumed it.
[d] John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, 2:247.
[e] Bruner, The Churchbook, p 265.
[f] What about forgiveness of a repentant-divorced person? Should the church remarry someone who has had an unbiblical divorce, but come under conviction, repented, and failed in their attempt to make amends with their original partner? I found the following quote by C.E.B. Cranfield to be convicting and powerful. He write: “For the Church rigidly to refuse to solemnize the remarriage of a divorced person who has accepted God’s forgiveness and at the same time God’s judgment upon his or her life, who is sincerely penitent…and sincerely desirous…to order his or her life as nearly as possible to God’s will, would seem to me to involve a denial of the reality of the forgiveness of sins and therefore of the gospel of Jesus Christ itself” (C. E. B. Cranfield, The Bible and Christian Life, 1985, p 233-234).